GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!

i cant even begin to try and explain how H.O.T it is over here okay..

and it was after it rained!!!

there was this huge thunderstorm on saturday that lasted for quite a few hours..it was flashing like twice every minute!! seriously!! and it rained so hard that the water sipped in thru the window sill, even though i had stuck plastic to the outer surface ( yeah i know it looks stupid and makes noise when the wind blows but hey, it keeps the water out when the snow melts and acts as a great cold and wind insulator )..

i got up feeling oh so tired the next day cos i sleep facing the window see..and i dont pull the blinds together cos i like the room to have some natural illumination..so i had the lightning flashing in my face the whole night..you couldnt see the lightning though cos i suppose the clouds were so thick, it was just lots of white light..so i just lay in bed for awhile and while dozing off to sleep, i was counting the number of lightning, the interval between the lightning and the thunder - longest was 30seconds between the 2..seriously..and it seemed like it was from so far away..

brings me back to the times when i sit by the sliding door at home, mug of hot black coffee in one hand right after being awakened from my afternoon nap..there’s something soothing about watching the rain fall pitter patter into that puddle, watching the ripples get tangled with each other..the smell of rain..the cool wet breeze..letting your thoughts astray as you mindlessly gaze at nothing in particular..being startled by the sudden lightning and waiting for the thunder to follow..

the mechanism of rain..

yet here though, the thunder sounds different..really, i aint bluffing..next time it rains in malaysia, listen closely..there’s the lightning followed by the clap, and then the rumble growling away..here, there’s the flash, a loooooong pau-za, then growlyrumbledeeroar which is quite prolonged..

dont i have anything better to do you say??

when the mind is free and the heart is without a care and the brain without a burden, you just seem to soak in everything..

of cos all that left the internet connection a mere piece of wire and i was forcibly offlined for 1n1/2 days..

and then it rained some more..

and now its sunny..

and i cant take it..

it was just after rain, minus the sun at 9 am today and it was 30degrees..

by noon, the sky was a clear blue that made me feel like i wanted to be a falcon that could fly up oh so high..but i’d probably burst into flames though - it was 40degrees!!! 40-scorching-degrees i tell ya!!

and the weird thing is, nobody’s under an umbrella!!!

of cos i am strictly off umbrellas - i dont carry one and i dont think i ever will..but none of these russians do - they are all heading for skin cancer i tell ya..

and there was this final thing that i needed to get - shoes..went to mega on saturday but didnt see anything nice that i liked so i went to fantastika instead..then i decided that i might as well get something that’ll probably last longer and headed back to mega, so finally i am done with my shopping - oh, still got strawberries to get for mummy, hope they have the real juicy ones like i saw at the rinok the other day..

and then i packed the bags, which i have no idea how i am gonna get em down 4 floors - hopefully the lift will be functioning on that day..

so i am actually in the mood to be heading back home, with loads to look forward to..nyum nyum..

shopping is indeed heaven - until you run out that is..

went for a super spree as pearly put it..hey, dun blame me..i am just trying to get good deals for my money..and i’m pretty satisfied with what i got..actually i think i kinda messed up my shopping list, but i managed to get something nice for everyone at home..and i hope they’ll be happy about it..they better be!!!

all this walking around is really killing my legs..i dunno how many times i went around mega, in and out of almost 85% of the stores - i skipped that coat store and others like the windsor knot and adidas and bla bla..first round was to survey, second round was to purchase, then i missed some shops and had to retrace back my steps, then i forgot where i saw what i wanted to buy and walk back again - yup, pretty good exercise!!

some deals are good, some are simply overpriced, some are cheap but when you take a good look at it, yep that’s a spot and a few stray threads..

sometimes i wonder if the things that we buy are really worth their value..like today i bought a clutchbag for my mom from nine west - which i aint gona tell you how much it cost..came back and was inspecting it and poof!! made in china..MADE IN CHINA!!!! WTF!!!! i think i can get a made in china from petaling street - for less than 10% of the price!!!!

WTF!!!!

so i am kinda pissed..

guess i didnt look well..

but hey, when you look at it, more than half of these things are made in china - not that anything’s wrong with that but you wouldnt know the real deal from the fake rite..since labour is cheaper and it is more cost efficient, i think i’d be happier NOT to have to read that on the label..hide it from me next time, i’m getting kinda pissed..

plus, are sales really sales??

i mean if it was me la har, first of all, of cos i’d wanna get some profit right..so my stuff would definitely be like twice or thrice the original cost, har har..then, if i am gonna have a sale, say a blouse costing $100 was going for $400, then i slash the price and say, hey, now it $350, then down to $250, lowest $110..i still get a profit..in the end, the store owner still benefits..and maybe the buyer too, if one can get the right size and the item purchased is in good condition..like the other day, i went to oggi in pakrov..when i looked thru some clothes and picked a few off the rack, they were all damaged in some way - slight tear, lipstick mark, yellow stain, you name it..and it was still freakingly priced!! either the sales assistants dont notice, which i think is hardly the case, or they just dont care - its up to the consumer to make their choice..

actually, i do think that living in russia is expensive - coat for winter, autumn, spring, summer, then blouses for winter, autumn, spring, summer, shoes, gloves, socks bla bla = you need to get clothes according to the season!!! or is it the same back in malaysia too?? perhaps it was just that i never noticed..my mum always pays and my job is to drag her around til i find what i like..but now that i am in charge of spending (my parents’) money myself, i FEEL the pain of seeing the thick wallet deflate..i am SURPRISED at how soon i can break the bank with what is normal monthly expenses plus some side deals once in a while..i become FURIOUS when the things i buy are made in china!!! it’s NAUSEATING to have to wait patiently for the next month until i can withdraw..it’s FRUSTRATING when something i want so desperately is just so UNREASONABLY expensive..and it PISSES ME OFF when something i bought is being sold for half the price i paid 2 weeks later..

does that make me sound like i hate shopping??

actually i love it..

when someone else is paying..

lets hope i find someone with a wallet fatter than mine..

the following conversation took place in russian one fine afternoon in the vicinity of obi’s kassa ( so basically you can imagine the words that were actually used which are way outside your vocab but you can pretty much guess what they are trying to say - gobbledegook )..

a : madam, could you step aside this way please, we would like to have a word with you.

b : excuse me?

a : could we please have a word with you in our office room, this way please. follow me.

b : what is this about ?

a and b enter a room, roughly 3×3. the only furniture in the room are a table and 3 chairs.

a : please have a seat. one of our female workers will attend to you shortly.

b : what for ? (silence)

enter female worker, a pleasant-looking blondie.

c : greetings. do you speak russian?

b : a little.

c : to put it simply, according to our surveillance system, you were at the door knobs and locks department of our store where you purchased this lock. what we are interested in is the other object that we noticed you having in your other hand. could you please explain yourself?

b : (smiles and produces a filthy malfunctioning door lock out of the bag) it’s an old lock. i brought it along because i didnt know what size to get. that’s all. there’s nothing else.

c : (looks at the filthy lock closely - there are paint marks and the knob is faulty). well madam,we are absolutely sorry. but you should have told one of our security guards that you were planning to bring this in.

b : (conversation running through in mind) really lady. you would think that after spending all that money coming to russia to study and all, i would nick a door lock at your store. seriously? take a look at my purse and you would know that i could purchase twenty locks if i wanted to. take a look inside my bag and you would know that i’m a medical student at your local academy and by golly i wouldnt dare to do something as stupid as this to land myself in jail or get fined. hello, i am leaving for home next week, do you really think i would try to pull a stunt like this?? my flight ticket probably covers your expenses for 6 months!! even if i did want to nick something, it might have been a LV bag or a perfume by chanel but it definitely will not be a door lock!! geez!! it’s becos the academy wont buy me another lock that i have to get one myself.

instead..

b : really? i didnt know. i just brought it along to compare sizes. i didnt know. sorry.

c : we’re sorry too but in the future, please remember to show it to us beforehand.

b : ok. i didnt know. (thinks that next time the pipe breaks, i’ll drag it into the store then)

now the above situation is quite gruesome(!) by its own, but in russian and being alone, it was terrible!!!

see what i can get into when i go out alone??

sheez..

though it was my fault..

all the while, my intuition was telling me that i am gonna get into trouble for this..but i still carried on cos i wasnt doing anything wrong..

but you know what??

that means that you are being watched very closely all the time..picking your nose by that rack, someone is watching..drooping something on the aisle, somebody’s watching and it aint god..

I AM SOOOOOOOOO EMBARASSED!!

SUNGGUH MEMALUKAN!!!!!!!!!

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

that’s my first brush with authority in russia..no wait..second..the first was the time when we were all held up at the airport, suspected of having fake passports. who wouldnt, growing up in all white russia, it’s simply unimaginable that 3 indians, a malay and a chinese could have passports issued by the same country!!!

now the second, held up for suspicion of shoplifting. a door lock. costing 100 rubles.

of all things!!!!

SSSSSHHHHHTTTTOOOOOPPPPPIIIIIDDDDD!!!!!

serves me right. i should have just listened to my intuition!!!

and i should probably grow some common sense..i seem to be lacking it in some decisions that i make these days!!!

my love..

i am so sorry for doing this to you..

but i didnt notice that you slipped and fell..

i failed to pick you up..

i’m sorry to have let you drown in that murky water..

i’m sorry i left you in a spin..

for the past 3 years, you have been faithfully with me, keeping me company almost every second of my day..

i almost cried, fear of losing you engulfed me..

i couldnt imagine a tomorrow without you..

without you close to me, things would never be the same..

i need you in my life like i need air to breathe - well maybe not as important but almost..

but i’m glad you gave me another chance..

i promise with all my heart and soul that today will never be forgotten..

i swear that i’ll never mistreat you again..

truely truely..

*big sloopy kisses + huge grin*

XOXOXOXOXOXO

I HATE PUCHIS!!!!

puchi = insect

and boy am i glad we dun have half the species here like we have in malaysia..for one thing, i am whooping happy that there are no ants..i hate ants, especially those lil red ones, the really tiny tiny asses with the real painful bite - they are really really annoying becos they especially love to crawl all over my house sofa and the kitchen table and even in my bedroom!! lord, they are everywhere!!! and whenever i go back home and get bitten ( i dunno why but it just seems to be me only - either these ants have something against me or the rest of the house people have adapted to it and developed some kinda immunity against it ), i have all these lil red spots, so much so that my lil sister who is not so lil has named it “7t’s puchikaddi syndrome” literally meaning 7t’s insect bite syndrome..

and dun even get me started on cockroaches..we are like sworn enemies..i hope my future house will be free of cockroaches..just as recent as last week, the babushka finally put some anti-tarakan powder in the kitchen - now the kitchen seems to be free of cockroaches but they seem to have fled to the nearest rooms, like mine..so every morning i get up, i am slamming the slippers against the wall or stomping on that stupid roach..but luckily, the russian roaches, though quite resistant to extreme temperatures, are quite small and unable to fly - not enuff food kot..whereas the ones in malaysia can fly from the kitchen to the other end of the house la, damn it!!!

its annoying to open the window - the small insects are everywhere!!! and this crazy moth is stalking me every night!!! not to mention that huge black moth which just suddenly appeared outta nowhere and scared me to death - really really..i was happily watching a movie and chuckling to meself when it just hit the laptop screen - i almost felt outta the chair!!! somehow i managed to chase it out the window and went to bed, chills all over, wondering what i’d do if it suddenly reappeared and sat on my face..

in form 6, we were supposed to catch insects and preserve them, at least 25 species were required..those were some of the most memorable times of my life..the times spent behind KHS in the jungle, the sungai congkak trip, the ride in the Storm at the back with the breeze rippling thru our hair, the scene with the bees near the tunggul kayu, the frantic scene of the others busy catching butterflies during recess, finding that insect on the road, i dunno wat you call it - it makes this real loud buzzing-horn kinda sound when you press its middle, think it starts with C..

aahh..kinda funny to recall all that..

so now i am busy swatting at these small puchis..

but the good thing is that they are nil during winter so at least i have some peace then..so since its now their mating season and all, let them have a bit of fun la ah..but dun bother me wei, it will be the death of you..

and then i am thinking of some other pests that i would like to take a swipe at too..someday..maybe maybe..

aaaahhhh..2 more days at the rheumatology department to go and after that, i am free to roam to other departments..

dun get me wrong..in a way, i am actually glad that i wrote my name second on that list and got assigned to 9th floor..the doctor is great and super cool, i am learning loads..

but this volchanka thingy..huhu..i’d been reading about this for a week now!!! volchanka is SLE in russian, and man, i have to tell ya, he doesnt not make this easy for us..even in harrisons, nothing much is written beyond treatment with glucocorticoids and NSAIDs and cytostatics but the doctor - waliao..he goes system by system and squeezes the whey outta my brains!!

now i know FOR SURE that medicine has MORE BENEATH THE SURFACE THAN YOUR AVERAGE ICEBERG DOES!!!

but i am satisfied
and i got interested in a new patient today..think he’s the one who got newly admitted on monday..he now occupies the place of the podagra patient who got discharged oredy, i presume..so now this guy has gout with nodules that are super duper huge, liver cirrhosis with mild jaundice, a huge ascitic abdomen, pitting oedema, he has renal and liver insufficiency and a history of 2 MIs and an aneurysm - he’s every medstudents nightmare..basically all his systems are affected in one way or another..so 2moro when there are more test results coming in, i wanna menyebok with his case history..it shud be pweetty intewesting..

other than that, all other patients seem ok..the psoriasis guy has improved tremendously, his rash now just looks like raw pinkish skin..he’s very tan though and it does look nice on him, i wonder how he got it..must be some solarium..then the osteoarthritis granpa is oso looking good..and there was yet another new addition..same ol’ RA..

oh and you know wat, today was the first time i met a really really anorexic/bullemic girl..she was about my height and her arm was like the size of my wrist!!!! gosh, i could see her hip bone poking thru that black dress..and she was so so pretty, i wonder how she could let herself be that way..one could see the tendons running along her hands and she was so so so malnourished, she couldnt have possibly be more than 30kg..after seeing all those well-filled russian women, seeing her was like an eye-opener..

and i did the most embarassing thing today..i went to the produkti today to get bsicuits for breakfast tomoro and there was this girl, she couldnt have been more than 15..and i helped her buy alcohol..i dunno what the crap i was thinking!!!! it all just happened so fast and i just ordered it for her and…..

basically it was like buying booze for my brother!!!

i should never have done that, not in a 1000 years!!! if everyone had been like me, i wouldnt be surprised that most russians are alcoholic..

i wish i had said no..but in my broken russian, i would have probably further embarassed myself..but i would have felt better..if there ever was a next time, i would refuse..and probably add in some sisterly advice in broken russian..

haiz….

so now i’m gonna eat the remainder of that rice with dalcha, courtesy of pearly and jonas..sweeetttt..its quite good..and after that, back to my volchanka and spondylosing arthritis and some other topics he gave us..he’s gona stir fry us til the last day, haha..

i thought that today was gonna turn out to be pretty boring..slept late and got up early, only to reach the hospital late anyways..stupid jam..

so anyways, the better part of the day was spent on the couch cos there was nothing much to do..my doctor’s patients are all in a stable condition, there was nothing much to worry about, and so the morning ward rounds are just to inspect the treatment progress, take blood pressure and ask if there were any other complaints..

no one was very happy on the floor today and i thought it was becos it was monday and the weather simply was gloomy and dull, even i wanted to doze off on that comfy couch..

then, me and pearly decided that rather than sit around on the couch, we shud just take a stroll to the wards and catch a random patient for some interviewing, since the patients with psoriatic arthritis shud be pretty interesting..

and thats when we passed by the SLE lady’s room..

she had been pretty ill for quite some time and her case file was the thickest i’ve seen so far..she was in a terrible condition and unfortunately she was under the supervision of another doctor, so we only got to see her once becos andrevna brought us along for a consultation..she was the one with the SLE exacerbation, she had pneumonia, a huge bloated abdomen, her left leg had thrombophlebitis, she was unable to walk and had no voluntary bladder control..when we went to see her, she was responsive but after being subjected to such a condition, all that she wanted that friday was to die..

and today, she was not in the ward..i wondered where she could have gone to when my doctor came and asked us to follow another doctor to the morgue, after which we were supposed to explain to him about what we saw..

after running around in circles ( the doctor got into a lift and we couldnt fit in, so we had to ask around and climb dunno how many stairs and finally found the morgue - next to the garage!!! ), we finally entered the morgue and my gut feeling was right, it was the SLE lady..

i duno how but i dont feel anything, up until now..it’s weird isnt it?? i saw her last friday and 3 days later, here she was on that cold hard surface, the chest ripped open from the throat down to the pubis, the contents once held by the body on the sink..the blood,it smelt like chicken that has been left outside overnight..

the doctor’s knife was super sharp i tell you..it just went slice, slice, slice thru the heart and intestine and liver..

and the conclusion was :

> renal and liver insufficiency ( apparently the kidney was sooooo tiny weeny but i didnt see it though )

> multiple organ failure

> thrombophlebitis and possible thromboembolism

> pulmonary edema

> pneumonia

i am guessing that the doctors were all in a bummed out mood becos of this..i suppose she passed away quite suddenly..talk about a wish come true..

what i really found disturbing was that the suspected thrombophlebitis was utterly discarded by the surgeon..he asked to rule out erysipelas..i am thinking that it would have been so easy to just do that damn ultrasound to prove her condition and arrange for immediate treatment..the clots that they found during the autopsy were huge and i would be very surprised if they had stayed spot on..while it remains true that the multiorgan failure she had was due to chronic treatment of SLE, the thromboembolism could have just cut her life short by a few months..a few months??

and so she died..

like my doctor was saying, you dont always have that gut feeling..and when you do, its better to just follow that instinct..maybe you are not an expert on that field but after seeing something amiss, you just know that something is wrong..and the experts in their respective fields have become accustomed to the ideal picture of the diseases they treat that when something unusual crops up, they fail to notice what we see..and of course you being the rheumatic disease specialist doesnt measure up much to the surgeon or the neurologist..and being the junior in the field..

its still gloomy up til now..

Happiness: 3 amazing tips from the world’s oldest case study

saturday the 27th of june..

i tried calling home but no one’s home and the handphone line’s busy..i wonder what the house people are up to..

there’s nothing great online..’cept the news of MJ..hmm..just in dusselsorf a few months back, i was watching this compilation of his great hits..and it brought back memories of my dancing-like-MJ craze..

ok ok..dun be shocked..i did do a fair bit of dancing when i was way way younger and very flexible that i could bend my body so that my toes could touch my eyebrows..in hyperextension..

that was ages ago..and i’ve stopped dancing for a loooong time..the sole reason being becos my standard 3 teacher didnt pick my MJ dance for a school perfomance..instead she chose 3 chinese girls to dance ballet - with the furry hairdo, pink singlets and a black skirt, it was something like a sewing act or watever..dun ask me, i never understood that part..

so now i cant even shake my butt to a tune..but i’m a great dancer in my imagination, kahkahkah..

watching movies is a bore..

going shopping is a disease..i went the other day and it was a very impulsive event indeed..i even got something for CNY next year - it was a good bargain!!!

so now i am broke with a little more than 20 rubles to last me before my next withdrawal..

so basically i am bored..any suggestions anyone??

been to the park a number of times..i wonder why it took me 4 years to finally venture there..i should have done that ages ago..who was i waiting for?? the right company?? the perfect time?? the awesome moment??

so now i am blasting music from my laptop..havent done that in ages too..it feels good to drown your feelings with the music and singing out loud yet no one could hear..or could they??

not that i’m already in the going-back-home mood but one of the seniors has asked me if i could carry some of her stuff home..and i’ve told her that i could help once i’ve put aside and weighed all my books which i am dragging home this time..and whoopsie daisie, there’s quite a bundle..

hey you!!!

yeah you..you know who you are..

why try so hard to drive your point home?? really..thats so uncool..and you make the cool me uncool by writing all this on my bloggie..but i guess you would be reading this sooner or later..and you’d know in a split that this is about you..

you need to get your issues straight..i am not the competition and i would never see you as one..so quit trying so hard to try and outdo me on such a grand scale..really, i am not bothered but you parading about gets under my skin, beneath the dermis almost crossing my fasciae if you know what that is..

go get a life..go do something that would ultimately make you happy..